Relationship abuse is not something to look past, even in young people

Mary Hayes

Too Into You Project Lead, Women’s Aid

One in five young women aged 18–25 have been subjected to relationship abuse by a current male partner or ex, which can include emotional, physical, sexual and online abuse.

When we think about ‘domestic abuse/violence,’ we often think about middle-aged and older women; we imagine a woman living with an abusive partner, who is married and may have children. We don’t often think of it happening to young women. The reality is you don’t have to be living with a partner for them to be abusive towards you.

How common is relationship abuse?

Many young people — in particular, young women — are abused by a current partner or ex. Over half (three in five) young people have experienced, or know someone who has experienced, intimate relationship abuse.

One in five young women and 1 in 11 young men aged 18–25 in Ireland have been subjected to intimate relationship abuse. In all cases where women were subjected to intimate relationship abuse, this abuse was perpetrated by a current or former intimate male partner.

Of the one in five young women who were abused,
84% said that the abuse had a severe
mental and physical impact.

Forms of relationship abuse

Emotional abuse is by far the most common, with 9 of 10 young women abused subjected to it. Sustained emotional abuse can have more serious and long-term impacts than physical abuse. Even though it’s so common, one in three never told anyone that they were subjected to emotional abuse. Moreover, many don’t know how to spot the red flags of abuse or where to seek support.

For young women, the abuse lasted an average of 1.4 years. One in six young women and 1 in 13 young men have been subjected to coercive control by a partner or ex-partner. Coercive control is a persistent pattern of controlling, coercive and threatening behaviour by a current or former partner or spouse. An alarming 51% of young women affected first experienced this abuse under the age of 18.

Relationship abuse is a massive threat

Of the one in five young women who were abused, 84% said that the abuse had a severe mental and physical impact. This includes loss of self-esteem; anxiety and depression; withdrawal from family and friends; giving up work or college; suicidal thoughts/attempting suicide; needing treatment for physical injuries; and living in fear.

The negative impacts of abuse can be long-lasting and life-changing for young women. Abusive partners can prey on vulnerabilities, and a controlling or violent partner can cause a huge setback at the beginning of their adult life.